Silly Games

Desiring to express my art
Not knowing where it will take me
So much to say
Not able to grasp the words
To express it firmly

Such frustration encompassed
Into knots that can't be unwind
The speed of creative thoughts
Is hard to grasp and focus
Let alone capture one!

Disgusted with the process
Wishing to find a better
Way to vomit what's inside me
Insecurities of my art
Impedes how I deliver
What to say to thee!

Ah! Just let it out!
I wish I could but
Gagged with the poison
of nervous insecurities!

Such silly games
We seem to play on
Ourselves. Knowing full
Well that I am the only
One who stops myself
From moving forwards
And taking that Prize
Which we strive to
Realize!

PASSION

Warm touch
of your fingers
caressing the arch
of my back.

A soft whisper
as you heavily breathe
the ecstasy of your desire.

This familiar shiver
races down my spine
remembering the passion
and we immediately embrace
as if it never left.

Your lips quivers as
you kiss every part of me
hesitating to devour
controlling yourself
to take your time
and indulge in every minute
of your exploration.

You raise to see me
just to get my acknowledgment
that if it is okay
for you to continue
or if I am as consumed in
this fire with you.

You see me engulfed in
this foreplay of seduction
enjoying each moment
like creating a beautiful
work of art.

Just before that explosive moment
we catch a glimpse of
making certain
that each are satisfied
and the finale of us
creating an amazing
display of fireworks!!!

SEARCHING FOR THE RIGHT MOLD

Trying to express myself without sounding ridiculous
Lost in a sea of words that I can’t seem to articulate
Frustration overwhelms me with no end
Growing ever so steadily to a point of tearing down my sanity

Hands shaking from the fear of what I might discover
Eyes glassed over on the brink of a major waterfall
My mind bouncing back and forth like a ping pong
Wanting to scream but it’s too late to actually do anything

Not knowing really what I am writing about
Yearning for it to mean something that impinges the heart
A thought flashes through with such dread
That I could be nothing but a fake instead

Laughing it off to hide my insecurity
Only it’s obvious that I lack much ability
Scared to think that I may not have much depth
Total self awareness that I know is a guard I use to protect

Do they know who I really am?
Or it doesn’t matter because the fantasy is what they desire
Feeling short changed to have to suppress the true me
But out of protection I can’t allow my peers to get too close
So therefore I am only the mannequin they molded me to be!

ENTHUSIASM (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

From the deep dark chasm of my soul
Finally climbing my way out of the hole
Having such fervor for life once more
Eager to start a new and looking forward to what is in store

Engulfed in such lightness and zeal
Happy to find again truly what is real
Such gusto of adventure is ready to be explored
My being and wisdom I understand to be my Lord

Devoted to really living and never again be suppressed
This strength within me abhors the idea of being depressed
Intensely focused on all that there is to be had
Oh the clarity that I experience is a feeling of being glad

So much wins that one can have especially at this state
Some may say I’m a bit fanatic and others say, “That is great!”
See when you are in the emotion of enthusiasm life becomes particularly insouciant
Be able to be more flippant and play the game of life better and in addition fluent

Interesting you may say with a condescending smile
Of course it isn’t real to you because the majority still has a ways to go for miles
Many are in a state of apathy to see what is in front of them let alone what the future may hold
But the more you keep lifting yourself up by the bootstraps you will arrive, just keep being bold

I’m sure at certain moments in ones life they have experienced such enthusiasm
Like an infant being born or the smell of fresh new spring blossoms
Keenness of simplicity is an example of this
A zest for life is the achievement with a twist!

U.S. - PARISIEN

Je suis un Américain, mais mon coeur désire ardemment pour les Français
Something about the French lifestyle entices me to express what I have to say
Les Parisiens sont un ensemble de style magnifique
Almost as if they did it on purpose to be more dramatic

La beauté, la culture et l'amour pour ce pays
Entices me in all of the French way
Cette histoire partout où vous regardez dans la ville
I adore all the cities in France especially Deauville!

Les bons souvenirs de la voile au large des côtes du village
If you have never experienced France then I say “C’est domage!”
Oh! L'amour et la passion que l'on expérimente ici
Even to just be down at the Cote D’Azur relaxing by the sea!

Qu'est-ce qu'un lieu d'hypnose pour définir votre libre disposition de soi artistiques
With a combination of the old world merging with the new and modern is quite fantastic!
Par exemple, la Tour Eiffel, l'Arc de Triomphe et Montparnasse
Let’s loose my ultimate creativity and charming finesse

Ah! Paris! Comment j'ai beaucoup Je t'aime tant
Filled with pleasure to express it, but I just can’t
Il ne résonnent pas mon sentiment vrai pour vous
So I try to write it because that is all I can really do!

STRONG INTEREST (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

Dedicated in my search for all that is of whom we truly are
Passion drives me to distant lands that seem infinitely far
Intent on discovering what my role in this story is all about
Eager to scream once found and share to whoever listens aloud

Great interest in what the future may hold
Powerful postulates is what will unfold
This fervent feeling boiling deep within
A great activity so much so I forget to breathe in!

Such strong awareness of self resonates throughout
Noticing the body for once is on the ground
Being ever so present has such importance
Now future pursuit leaves a great deal of relevance

Inspired by a friend who writes with such clarity
Biting curiosity left me with such ferocity
Convincing was he to that degree I was sold
For I was compelled by him or so I’m told

The brilliance of this funny life game
Is clear to see that I really have no shame!
Dazzling my way through the crowd
Glares and whispers are just sounds

My strong interest in others leaves me to ponder
Too keen on flying leaving them to wonder
Oh the freedom of so much appeal
Shall be fascinating to those that I reveal

The advantage that you can have in such a state
Leaves no room for anyone to debate
To be of strong interest one can move further into the stratosphere
And become one and all in this frivolous atmosphere!

CONSERVATISM (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

As I awaken myself to higher places of emotions
I realize I am now at a state of conventional devotion
Conforming to what is perceived to be safe
No longer the avant-garde becoming more behaved

Old school ideas and traditions is what I have always been sold
Now my own cautiousness conveys my own story to be told
To bring about an understanding of my state of affairs
Careful not to have major changes ashamed at the stares

Having respect for those who chose to be traditionalist
I myself support these values as being marvelous
In awe of such a conservative state of mortality
Kind of uptight with little to know personality

The essence of being overly cautious can bring a false sense of security
I guess all in moderation is alright as long as one also looks for more activity
Otherwise the more careful one becomes
The less adventurous and free are in some

Morally speaking this feeling of conservatism is speculative
It all seems to me that this condition is quite tentative
Positioning myself to be a bit unadventurous
Promoting that it’s better to be a naturalist

What do I know about any of these things?
Except for my own experience of what it brings
A higher part of the lower state of the mind
But better at this level of any of its lower kind

Now if I’m not making any sense at all
It’s because my own understanding is somewhat wrapped up like a ball
Bring in the martinet so that I make sure I stick with my ideals
Now I know why one becomes a tyrant and how this person truly feels!

SUMMER

Relaxing by the pool with the sun blazing down upon my skin
Looking around at the serenity of the moment with a calm in my heart
Tranquility that all is blessed and puts me at ease with a grin
Future seems brighter and an overwhelming feeling that this time I could win

A slight breeze billowing through the trees
Fluttered feeling that this is what it is to be pleased
Plunging my body into the water as I travel through a sensation fills me up
This frivolous chill immediately encompasses almost as if I were about to erupt

Sensing a feeling of long days standing still
People happy and playful imbues my thrill
Magical moments loaded with warm memories
Summer’s full swing is now in all the sceneries

Charged with plenty of ideas of things to be had
All I see are scantily clothed people with faces of being glad
Warm suns glow brings the best in us all
Then summers almost over we hesitate to welcome the fall

Such magic the summer brings like a present that continuously gives
Helps one to understand the reason of why one even bothers to live
Love gets fresh new dew as well as ends another to be renewed
Enemies become friends and all relationships are no longer in a feud

Enchanting us all with its heat pouncing on our flesh
Miraculously summer sums up with getting rid of all our stress
The breathtaking feeling that all will be fine
At least at this moment we allow ourselves to be kind.

S -ensual
U -nforgettable
M -emorable
M -iraculous
E -ndless
R –elaxing

This to me amounts to what SUMMER is all about
So enjoy it while it lasts and just go and get out.

MILD INTEREST (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

Leniency towards life that are to me consequential
Just the basic drive for knowledge is very essential
Soft push to help my fellow man reach for something more
And escape the habitual emotion of being a bore

Gently I show just a bit of curiosity
Allowing a peaceable change in activity
The significance is somewhat insipid
No sudden movements nothing too rapid

Meekness in my voice illustrates my leisure pursuit
Conforming to the idea of “it’s all good” just follow suit
This mild interest in all that we possess
Has no room to really move up; feeling I only digress

Tis’ not awful and most definitely not virtuous
Only a sort of blasé to it all unscrupulous
I recommend not to get stuck in this state of being
Nothing about it at all is equally freeing

Yet I get how one can be so easygoing with his awareness
I’ve met a few on weed who think they are in this state of silliness
Where nothing matters and all is about living for today
Alas today is the present but the future is the way!

CONTENTED (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

Pleased at myself for being able to just not get bothered by such stupidity
Satisfied to know that I am able to express such emotion with lucidity
Happy that there are others who are searching for something more meaningful
That not all are shallow and imprudent about life which in essence would be cruel

Thoughtlessness is something that gets me very agitated
Now I can be at ease with others conciliated
This soothing resolve is somewhat still very new
But I do like the fact that I am free from anxiety composed and true
Going through each day relaxed and unperturbed
Seems as though nothing really is a problem and I’m no longer disturbed

The tranquility of my being may cause other’s feathers to be ruffled
Serenity encompasses me and I know longer have my emotions getting shuffled
My hysteria has been raked up to the degree it is all collected
No longer worried at the idea of being utterly rejected
Contented that all is well and nothing is truly that dire
I can now sense from a mile away evil and any and all liars
It maybe shocking to those who don’t understand
But once you’ve arrived at this state it in fact feels quite grand!

Beyond doubt a contentedness overpowers all of my being
For I genuinely understand and I’m no longer reeling
Comfortable with anything that turns up in my path
Everyone can celebrate now that the end has come to Cassandra’s Wrath!!!

LOVE

As I look out in the appearance of darkness
Something bright shimmers in the horizon
Is it a jewel's reflection from the bright sun
Could it be the light of his holiness

Gazing upon it as it approaches me
Relieved to know a friend is there to lend his hand
The knowledge I've been seeking for throughout the land
Has always been there and now another inspired me to see!

Thank you for your kindness I say
He nods and grabs my hand to show me the way
A gentle touch and then we connect
two beings on a journey now able to reflect.

Such pure chemistry full of understanding
No discord of any sort to have any reprimanding
Selfless acts between to terminals that want just to help
Awareness of the admiration that emanates from the self.

Love is a word that makes my heart flutter
And sometimes can even make one stutter
An explosion of feelings all meshed up within
Such unforgiving passion electrified by sin
Not at all a fairytale that is G - Rated
Just a massive hunger of pure animal behavior simply stated!

DISINTERESTED (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

IMPARTIAL TO THE POLITICS OF HOW THIS GOVERNMENT “HELPS” THIS NATION
AN UNBIASED OPINION FROM MY VIEWPOINT WITHOUT ANY PERSUASION
BEING ABLE TO SEE ALL SIDES OF THE STATE OF AFFAIRS
SLIGHTLY DISTURBED AT ALL THE OPINIONS THAT IS BEING SHARED
NOT ALLOWING MYSELF TO BE PROVOKED BY MY PERSONAL INTEREST
BUT I HOLD MYSELF BACK TIGHTENING MY GRIP AND HIDING A FIST
TAKING A DEEP BREATH AND GETTING BACK TO A FAIR-MINDED STATE
WITH DETACHMENT I JUST SMILE AND PRETEND LIKE ALL IS WELL AND I’M DOING GREAT
THINKING OF HOW WE ALLOWED THIS ECONOMY TO GO BY THE BOARDS
HAVE WE EVEN HANDEDLY JUST DECIDED THAT SOMEONE ELSE WILL HANDLE IT LIKE A LORD?
THIS CONDITION OF BEING NEUTRAL CAN BE ENTICING AND SEEM SAFE
BUT OUR DISPASSION WILL BRING DOWN THIS HOUSE AND LURE OTHERS TO ALLOW US TO BE RAPED
WHAT THEN SHALL WE DO WHEN THINGS GET WORSE AND IT’S TOO LATE
OBJECTIVELY I SEE THAT WE HAVE SET THE TRAP BUT NOT REALIZING THAT WE ARE THE BAIT!
THE THREAT OF BEING LIKE ROBOTIC ZOMBIES IN THE NEAR FUTURE UNEMOTIONAL
CHILLS MY SPINE WITH THE THOUGHT OF OUR INDIVIDUALITY WIPED OUT AND CANNOT BE ANALYTICAL
ALAS A DISINTERESTED STATE MAY APPEAR TO BE A HIGHER TONE
BUT BEING IMPARTIAL TO IT ALL WILL KEEP US IN THE DARK AND A BRIGHT FUTURE WILL NOT BE KNOWN!

BOREDOM (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

LISTENING IN ON HOW JADED PEOPLE ARE ABOUT THEIR SUPPOSED PASSION
GETS ME FED UP WITH HAVING TO LISTEN TO THEM IN THIS FASHION
UNINTERESTED WITH WHAT MOST PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY
WISHING TO BE SOME OTHER PLACE MORE FASCINATING OR JUST TO HAVE A BETTER DAY
TIRED FROM HAVING TO EXPLAIN WHY I SEARCH FOR MORE
WHEN ALL I REALLY WANT OTHERS TO DO IS JUST PLEASE WALK THEMSELVES OUT THE DOOR
BORED TO TEARS WITH SUCH IRKSOME FUTILITIES
WEARY OF THE ACCEPTANCE OF LACK OF ABILITIES
TURNED OFF BY MY OWN SELFISH UNKNOWINGNESS
TEDIOUSLY SEARCHING FOR MY NIRVANA OR IS IT CALLED SELF BLISS?
AN OBSERVATION OF THE WORLD-WEARINESS IS VERY DISCONCERTING
CONFUSED TO THE POINT OF BEING INTROVERTED AND PAINFULLY HURTING
PERPLEXED BY THE IDEA THAT ONE COULD BE IN A STATE OF BOREDOM
ALARMED AT THE FACT THAT A WHOLE SOCIETY COULD BE SO IN THIS KINGDOM
IT’S TIRING TO HAVE SO MUCH THOUGHT INTO SEARCHING FOR SELF TRUTH
SOMETIMES WILLING TO ACCEPT THE UNBEARABLE TO SOOTH
BUT THEN AGAIN THE WAY OUT IS THE WAY THROUGH SO I’M TOLD
THIS IS ENOUGH FOR ME TO GET THROUGH THIS BORED PHASE AND NOT FOLD

MONOTONY (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

AS I AWAKE FROM MY SLEEP I GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS OF MY MORNING ROUTINE
THE REPETITIVENESS OF MY ACTIONS REMINDS ME OF WHEN I WAS BACK IN MY TEENS
ISN’T IT INTERESTING HOW THE SAMENESS OF OUR LIVES CONSTITUTES A SENSE OF SURVIVAL
LIKE WE’VE SOMEHOW AGREED THAT SAME ACTIONS RESULTS IN OUR ARRIVAL
BUT WHERE DID WE ARRIVE AT OR IS IT JUST AN ILLUSION OF SOME SORT OF ACCOMPLISHMENT
OR IS IT SOMETHING DEEPER OF OUR OWN MINDLESS TESTAMENT?
I DON’T MEAN TO SOUND AT ALL CYNICAL BUT ONLY QUESTION WHAT IS THIS ENNUI THAT WE CONTINUE TO ACCEPT IN OUR LIVES
CORRECTION, I SHOULD SPEAK OF MY OWN LANGUOR WHICH CALLS ATTENTION ON MY OWN DRIVE
THIS HOMOGENOUS LIFESTYLE THAT WE SEEM TO AGREE UPON
PERSONALLY I CAN’T ENDURE ITS MONOTONY AND I SHOUT OUT LOUD THAT I AM DONE!!!
SUCH TEDIUS CONSISTENCY GETS ME IN A STATE OF DREAD
THE REGULARITY OF MY STANDARDIZED LIFE MAKES ME WISH I WERE DEAD!
UNIFORMLY I OF COURSE WAVER UPON MY OWN RESOLUTION
BECAUSE I ONLY ARRIVE AT THE DULLNESS OF MY OWN DECISIONS

A SCORCHING REALITY ( A COLLECTION OF POETRY)

Passing by an enormous cloud of smoke
Not realizing that such beauty could turn into a major tragedy
Seeing all the crazy evacuation and the terrified faces of these folks
Consumed too much polluted air head is spinning feeling like I'm loosing gravity
I turn to see what is up ahead in the brilliant red orange gleem
Is it my savior come to take me and wash my hands clean?
Suddenly all is blackness not sure if I fainted
Just remembering everything around me was overwhelmingly tainted
I hear a voice saying everything will be alright, my mind immediately reminisces the Bob Marley song
Again this voice now saying hang in there! Which jolts me back to the present situation
And I realize that it wasn't my savior singing me a song from Bob Marley but a fireman who lifts me up like I'm light as a feather and takes me to a safer location
Reprieved to know that my life hasn't ended and for the first time I'm okay with being wrong.

JUST LIKE A CAT

YOU….SO PROUD AS YOU STRUT ALONG LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG
I JUST GAZING OVERWHELMED WITH ENVY BY MY OWN LACK OF CONTROL
HOW DO YOU CRAWL AND PLAY WITH NO CARE BUT YOUR OWN
WHEN I FEEL CHOKED FULL OF CONFUSION OF HOW TO MAKE IT MY OWN?
OH! TO BE YOU AND LET OTHERS TAKE CARE OF ME WHILST I SIT FIGURING OUT HOW TO BE A BETTER ME!
SOMETIMES YOU GAZE ON ME WITH SUCH CRITICISM IN YOUR EYES
LIKE YOU ARE LAUGHING AT ME WITH SUCH DISPISE
ONLY YOU COVER THIS THOUGHT WITH BEING SO CARING AND LOVING
BUT I WONDER IF YOU HAD THE ABILITY TO SAY WHAT YOU THOUGHT MAYBE THEN THE TRUTH IS YOUR LOVE IS NOT
YOU RUB AGAINST ME WANTING TO GET MY FULL ATTENTION BUT YET YOU’RE SO SELFISH THAT YOU DON’T BOTHER TO EVEN MENTION
ALL YOU DESIRE IS TO BE CARESSED THEN ONCE YOU GET YOUR FILL YOU LEAVE LIKE A HOOKER PAID THAT GOES AND QUICKLY GETS REDRESSED
DON’T BOTHER ME WITH YOUR SILLY ANTICS OF WANTING LOVE
BECAUSE IN THE END IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU WHEN IT COMES TO BEING PUSHED AND SHOVED!
MY DEAR, MY DEAR HOW SILLY AND RIDICULOUS YOU CAN BE
TO KNOW THAT IT ISN’T AT ALL ABOUT YOU WANTING ME
STILL I CAN BARE THE IDEA OF YOU BEING TRUE
AT LEAST IT KEEPS ME GOING AND FOR A MOMENT DISSAPATES ALL THAT MAKES ME BLUE
CAT I MUST CONFESS YOUR LOVE IS AS INFECTIOUS AS A HUMMING BIRDS WINGS FLUTTERING FASTER THAN I CAN SEE WITH THE NAKED EYE
BASICALLY STATING YOU CAT ARE QUITE THE MANIPULATOR AND VERY….VERY SLY!!

ANTAGONISM (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

WHAT YOU DID TO ME I CANNOT FORGIVE YOU AT THIS MOMENT
MY ENMITY STOPS ME FROM GRANTING YOU YOUR ATONEMENT
YOU CAN’T PRETEND TO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE SUCH ANIMOSITY
WHEN YOU BROUGHT THIS ABOUT BY YOUR VERY OWN HOSTILITY
THIS BITTERNESS IN ME IS LIKE A RANCID TASTING RED WINE
SUCH ANTIPATHY YOU SHOULD BE READING AS A CAUTIOUS SIGN
COOPERATING WITH YOU IS NOT OF ANY INTEREST
HONESTLY I HAVE TO SAY I DISLIKE YOUR FRIENDLINESS
ILL FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU HAVE NOW BEEN ESTABLISHED
I FIND YOUR PATHETIC EXCUSES ALL FILLED WITH RUBBISH
STOP EXPLAINING WHAT EXCUSES YOU HAVE FOR YOUR MISTAKES
THE RESENTMENT I FEEL FOR YOU IS BECAUSE ALL YOU ARE IS A FAKE!
LAUGHING AT THE VERY THOUGHT THAT YOU ALSO COULD HAVE ILL WILL
TRUTHFULLY MY ANTAGONISM KEEPS ME FROM EVEN CARING BECAUSE ALL I THINK OF IS FOR YOU TO BE KILLED!
WELL NOT COMPLETELY EXTERMINATED BUT JUST ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU SUFFER AND TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH YOU OFFENDED ME EXASPERATED!
I GUESS I COULD FORGIVE YOU....BUT NO! I WANT YOU TO SUFFER A LITTLE AND GET A BIT LOW
OH! ALRIGHT! FINE! I GUESS I SHOULD SHOW SOME COMPASSION AND EXONERATE
SINCE IT IS WITHIN MY POWER TO KNOW THAT KINDNESS IS NEVER TOO LATE

ANGRY (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

ANNOYED AT THE LAST POEM I WROTE NOW A COMPLETE FEELING OF RAGE I MUST EMOTE!
INFURIATED BY MY LACK OF CREATIVITY TOO RILED UP TO EXTEND MY ABILITY!
WHAT STUPIDITY WAS THAT IN MY LAST LIMERICK! I WANT OTHERS TO GET MAD AT ME AND HIT ME WITH SOME BRICKS!
WAY TOO MAD TO EVEN SPEAK OF THIS
WANTING TO HIT SOMEONE OR UTTERLY JUST CUT MY WRIST!
GNASHING MY TEETH AT ANY SOUND THAT IS MADE
DESIRING TO SLASH IT SILENT WITH A BLADE!
PEOPLE LOOKING AT ME WITH MY MADNESS INFURIATED
I DO BELIEVE THEY HIDE WHAT THEY FEEL ABOUT ME IRRITATED!
INDESCRIBABLE RESENTMENT TOWARDS ANYONE WHO GETS IN MY WAY
UNSPEAKABLE PROFANITIES VOMITING OUT OF MY MOUTH
REVOLTED BY THE LACK OF ORDER THAT LOOKS AS IF IT WENT AWAY
RAPIDLY DRIVING MY HORRENDOUS THOUGHTS FURTHER SOUTH!
BOILING FEELINGS REACHING THE HIGHEST FAHRENHEIT
SWELTERING UP AND CRINGING AT MY OWN MISPLACED SPITE!
GOING FURTHER ASTRAY BALKING AT MYSELF ABSOLUTELY ENRAGED
TOTALLY CONFUSED OF WHAT I AM ANGRY AT OF WHICH I’M UTTERLY ENGAGED!
SHOUTING AND YELLING GETTING ALL EXASPERATED
LOOKING AT ME IN THE MIRROR WANTING TO THROW A ROCK AT IT INFURIATED!
LONGING TO JUST MAKE ANOTHER SEE RED
BUT ANGER WITHIN ME IS ALL I GET INSTEAD!
STEADILY I CONTINUE TO WIND MYSELF UP
ONLY WISHING THAT WHATEVER IS MAKING MY BLOOD BOIL TO PLEASE JUST STOP!
REACTING LIKE A SNAKE THAT IS READY TO LUNGE AND BITE
JUST LIKE AN OBSESSED BOXER WHO IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A FIGHT!
KNOWING FULL WELL SOMETHING IS RISING WITHIN MYSELF
NOTICING THAT ALL I REALLY WANTED WAS FOR SOMEONE TO COME AND HELP.

ANXIETY (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

NOT HAVING CERTAINTY WITH WHAT TO DO WITH ONESELF
FILLED WITH WORRY AND NO ONE TO TURN TO FOR HELP
FRETTING ABOUT SOME SILLY LITTLE THING
CONSUMED BY ITS OBLIQUE IMPORTANCE OF WHAT IT COULD BRING
NERVOUSNESS ENCOMPASSING MY PERFORMANCE
KNOWING FOR SURE THAT SOMEONE OUT THERE HAS TOWARDS ME MALEVOLENCE
OBSESSING IN REGARDS TO WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK
HAVING ANGST ON KEEPING A CLOSE WATCH AND DON’T FOR ONE SECOND BLINK
THIS EXPENDED APPREHENSION SOMETIMES GIVES ME A TIC
SOME ODD HABIT WHICH PERSISTS AND I CAN’T SEEM TO LICK!
GUZZLING DOWN TOO MUCH UNIMPORTANT INFORMATION
DROWNING IN STUTTERED WORDS WHICH GOES IN DEVIATION
PLAYING WITH YOUR HAIR BITING ON YOUR FINGERNAILS
ALL THIS DISQUIET TO DIRECT SOME RELEASE SO AS TO NOT GO OFF THE RAILS
WONDERING IF IT ISN’T REALLY TOO LATE TO HAVE GONE DOWN SO DEEP
SINCE ONE IS CONTINUALLY HAVING PROBLEMS WITH LACK OF SLEEP
EVEN THE ASSONANCE OF MY WRITING REFLECTS A BIT OF UNEASE
LETTING LOOSE OF THE MADNESS OF MY MIND TO APPEASE
CIRCULATING IDEAS OF SENSELESS PHILOSOPHIES
ALL CAUGHT UP IN WILD PROFANITIES
ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT ONES FEARS DEVOTED TO SPORADIC ATTENTION BRINGING ONE TO TEARS
CONCERNED ABOUT SUCH MINUTE STUFF PERPLEXED BY ANOTHERS REBUFF
DISCOURAGED TO A POINT OF COMPLETE ANGST NO REASSURANCE AT ALL FOR THEIR BANKS
THIS ANXIETY GETS VERY OVERWHELMING PSYCHIATRIST NAMED IT A.D.D.
THEY HAVE EVEN GONE TO A POINT WHERE THEY PRESCRIBE YOU MEDICATION
AND THE RESULT IS YOUR MOTIVATION TO BE INSANE AND JUST GO LA DADEE DADA DEE DEE!
OH PLEASE TAKE THIS ANXIETY AWAY I DON’T WANT IT RUNNING ANYMORE ON AUTOPLAY!

APATHY (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

LACK OF INTEREST IN ALL THAT THERE IS
NO ENERGY TO SHOW OF LIKE A DAY OLD SODA THAT HAS LOST ALL ITS FIZZ
DROOPINESS SHOWING IN THE EYES
MISTAKEN FOR BOREDOM WHICH REALLY IS JUST MORE OF A DISGUISE
A LETHARGIC LIFE FILLED OF NO HOPE
COPING ONLY WITH CHEMICAL SUBSTANCES THAT WE CALL DOPE
SMOKING IT UP FALSIFYING THAT EVERYTHING IS GREAT
KNOWING FULL WELL THAT IN OUR MINDS WE ALL THINK IT’S TOO LATE!
OUR INDIFFERENCE TOWARDS WHAT IS THERE ONLY GOES TO THE POINT OF GETTING NOWHERE
THE LANGUOR OF THIS BODY IS UNBEARABLE
BUT YET WE COPE SIMPLY TO BE SUSTAINABLE
WHICH MERELY STATES THAT OUR WEARINESS CONTINUES ON
JUST A DREAM THAT ONE DAY IT ALL WILL BE GONE
LACK OF WILLPOWER TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT
EVEN STILL MY MOTIVATION IS ONLY TO STARE AND SIT
NO CHOICE OR CONTROL LOST IN MYSTERY
BUT MOST OF ALL PRESENTLY LIVING IN HISTORY
FUTURE IS TOO FAR TO SEE THE PRESENT IS TOO CLOSE TO BE
BUT THE PAST FEELS SAFE TO HIDE IN
SO THE MIND GOES THERE TO ABIDE
NOT REALIZING THE BODY IS STILL COPING WITH NO RESPONSIBILITY AT ALL
SO IT CREATES PROBLEMS AND ACCIDENTS JUST WAITING FOR THAT GREAT FALL!
STOMACHING AND HOLDING IN THE PAIN SUBSIDING IT WITH A ZOMBIE LIKE DISDAIN.
GIVING AN APATHETIC SMILE NOT INTERESTED IN MUCH DOING SO BUT ONLY ONCE IN A WHILE
THIS APATHY FEELS SO HOPELESS LIKE NOTHING IS WORTH IT FEELING ALL TOO USELESS
DOOMED TO FAILURE THE BLEAKNESS OF MY EXISTENCE
NOT INTERESTED AT ALL IN BEING PERSISTENT.
DAYS AND YEARS THEY ALL GO BY
HOWEVER DEEP DOWN ALL I WANT TO DO IS SILENTLY CRY!

INSOMNIA (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

MY MIND IS IN CONSTANT MOTION FINDING A PATH OF DEVOTION
TAUNTING ME ENDLESSLY NOT LETTING GO RESTLESSLY
THE TURMOIL OF BEING ME IS AS DARK AS THE MIDNIGHT SEA
WITH NO MOON TO SHINE UPON ONLY BLACKNESS THEN EVERYTHING IS GONE
SEARCHING FOR A REPOSE CAN’T SEEM TO AGREE WITH WHAT I CHOSE
KNOWING ONLY THAT THE CHALLENGES AHEAD ARE CONSTANTLY HAUNTING ME IN A STATE OF DREAD
TOO MUCH THINK ABOUT NOT MUCH ELSE FOR ME TO JUST RELAX
ALWAYS SLIPPING AND SLIDING ABOUT MY THOUGHTS LIKE A BED OF WAX
STAY STILL I SAY TO MYSELF BUT BEING STILL ISN’T ALLOWED AND DOES NOT SEEM TO HELP
SHIFTING IDEAS FORMING INTO ENIGMAS OF UNSOLVED RIDDLES THAT ARE MORE LIKE DOGMAS
YET I STAY AND I PONDER BUT THE OUTCOME IS JUST ONE LARGE WONDER
THE MAGIC OF SLEEP IS SO FOREIGN WHICH SEEMS UNATTAINABLE
THIS STIGMA OF INSOMNIA IS THE ONLY CRUX OBTAINABLE!!!

TO BE OR NOT TO BE (Inspired by a friend over lunch)

Countless tribulations that make it so very difficult to be
All answers are pointing to just be rid of it and not to be me
Questions fill my mind of thoughts of suicide but the ego steps in with too much pride
Lurking in the dark are queries of how one can accomplish such an atrocity
Yet the enormous difficulties make this issue much simpler to have such veracity
The issue of should I get a revolver and wrap my quivering lips around it
Alas the resolution would be an unrecognizable face and the mortician will have trouble and throw a fit
Not to mention the mess that would make and the nightmares of the one who finds me must now partake
Ah hah! A simpler more silent means is to get a noose and kick the chair from under me
But what if it doesn’t work and somehow the rope breaks; now a bruise is apparent for others to see!
A better solution is to find a bridge and just jump into the abyss
Ah bugger! With my luck it won’t be sudden and end up crippled because I missed!
Just get on with it already! Here is a bottle of Aspirins and a bottle of Gin
Take it and consume it all so that is where I shall begin
The sour taste of the aspirins as they wash down my throat
A smooth strong taste of gin burning as it is swallowed – I sit back and gloat
Oh God! What did I just do what stupidity! What madness!
I don’t want to die like this consumed with sadness!
My body starts to wobble my head is feeling hazy
Tears overflowing I realize I need help because I’m crazy!
Is it too late for me to be!? I think I decided simply not to be!

GRIEF (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

RAINDROPLETS FALLING SLOWLY DOWN MY FACE
KIND OF LOST LIKE READING A BOOK AND FORGETTING TO MARK IT SO YOU LOOSE YOUR PLACE
SWOLLEN EYELIDS RED FROM IRRITATION
TAUNTING FEELING OF BEING LOST IN TRANSLATION
LIPS QUIVER FROM THE OVERWHELM WALKING SLOWLY TOWARDS THE EDGE OF THE HELM
THOUGHTS FIRING THROUGH LIKE A RAPID MACHINE GUN
CREEPING FEELING THAT EVERYTHING IS DONE
WIND BLOWING ON MY FACE CREATED FROM THE TRAFFIC BELOW CARS WHIZZING BY WHILST LOST IN THOUGHT THAT I CAN’T SEEM TO KNOW
MAJOR TORMENT OF HOLDING ON TO THE METAL FENCE
OR JUST RELEASING AND LETTING GO OF ALL I HOLD SO TENSE
INDECISION STACKING UP AROUND MY MIND PRAYING TO GOD FOR HELP OF SOME KIND
NOT SURPRISED TO HAVE NO ANSWER FROM ABOVE ONLY THE TEARS ROLL FROM MY CHEEKS AND FLY DOWN TOWARDS THE TRAFFIC LIKE A DOVE
A DEAFENING SILENCE BUILDING ALL AROUND SHOULD I LET GO AND JUST MEET MY DEMISE ON THE GROUND?
SCREAMING FROM THE INSIDE FOR SOMEONE TO AID ME IN MY GRIEF JUST BY MYSELF NO ONE AROUND TO STOP ME FROM FALLING LIKE A LEAF
PALPITATIONS OF THE BODY CLAMBERING THROUGHOUT
UNTIL IT REACHES MY FINGERS AND THE BUZZING NUMBNESS
FORCES THE FINGERS TO RELEASE FROM THE FENCE
AND SUDDENLY, THE GROUND ABSORBS ALL THE BLOOD LIKE IT’S IN A DROUGHT.

NUMB (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

A DEEP CHASM OF EMPTINESS LOST IN THE THOUGHTS OF NOTHINGNESS
MY BODY SHRIVELS UP LIKE AN OVERDRIED RAISIN CRAVING FOR YOUR MOISTURE TO BRING ME BACK TO MY YOUTH

ALAS ALL I CAN DO IS CRAVE AND DREAM FOR EVEN THE SLIGHTEST MOVEMENT MY BODY WOULD GO INTO A STATE OF SHOCK THEN IT NEVER COMPLETELY FULFILLS

INADEQUACY SETS INSIDE ME WONDERING IF I’M EVER ENOUGH
ACTING LIKE IT DOESN’T MATTER BUT MY EMOTION IS WEAK ACTING ONLY TO BE TOUGH

I WISH I COULD BE LIKE YOU SO CONFIDENT WITH AN AIR OF ARROGANCE
YET I WONDER IS IT REALLY TRUE OR ARE YOU ALSO HIDING A SECRET PIECE THAT ONLY ONE WHO LIVES IT WILL EVER SEE

EVEN STILL I FEEL IT BETTER THAN MY OWN DEMISE FOR AT LEAST IN MY PERCEPTION YOU EXUDE A FRESH LIGHT OF BEING WISE

WHILST I’M FROZEN WITH NO EMOTION BUT REPETITIVELY ACT UPON MY OWN SLAVISH DEVOTION

OH ONLY IF I COULD ESCAPE THIS REALITY OF BEING NUMB ALBEIT THE PRESENT IS AN ILLUSION OF BEING HAPPY AND ACTING DUMB.

HATE (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

DETESTING THE ENTIRE WORLD FOR THEIR VINDICTIVENESS MADE KNOWN
DISPUTING MY OWN SPITEFULNESS COVERED UP SO AS TO NOT BE SHOWN
LOATHING THOSE WHO CONSISTENTLY DISAPPOINT MY HOPEFULNESS
DISGUSTED BY THEIR LACK OF SINCERETY AND KNOWINGNESS
YET I SIT AND JUDGE BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT I SEE IS A REFLECTION
NEVER WOULD I ACTUALLY ADMIT THAT I DO LACK IN PERFECTION
JUST ECHOING EVERYONE’S ODIUMS
KNOWING THAT MY OWN REVULSION COULD FILL PLENTY OF AUDITORIUMS
AVERTING TRUTH BY THREATENING TO LOOSE RESPECT
SOMETIMES I WONDER IF THEY EVER REALLY SUSPECT
THAT MY KINDNESS IS FILLED WITH A PROFUSION OF MALICE
AND BRINGING THEM DOWN TO MY LEVEL OF HATE IS THE CHALICE
REPULSED BY ANYTHING THAT THREATENS TO HARM MY VICINITY
CAN’T BEAR TO THINK I COULD JUST DISAPPEAR IN OBSCURITY
OBSERVING IT ALL WITH WHAT LIGHT I HAVE LEFT
BUT DARKNESS ABSORBS ME COMPLETELY LIKE A THEFT
AN EXTREME DISLIKE PILFERING THROUGH MY LIFE
ALTHOUGH I AM A BIT MORE UPTONE THIS FEELING AT THIS MOMENT IS MY STRIFE!
SUCH A FOOLISHNESS MOOD I EVEN FIND INSUFFERABLE
I CAN’T BEAR TO STARE AT MYSELF SO DESPICABLE!
SUFFERING THROUGH THIS ANOMALY CALLED HATRED
REACHING FOR WORDS TO EXPRESS BETTER STATED
DISLIKING ALTOGETHER WHAT WRITTEN WORDS HAVE APPEARED
CAN’T STAND THIS POEM I WROTE, SHOULD HAVE HAD MY HAND SHEARED!
WHAT NONSENSE TO MAKE SUCH AN EFFORT TO RHYME
ESPECIALLY THIS ONE POEM I REALLY DON’T HAVE THE TIME!

BLAME (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

OH WHAT HUGE AMOUNT OF GUILT I HAVE TO POINT THE FINGER AT SOMEONE ELSE
PERPETUAL CRITICISM OF HOW TERRIBLE THE OTHER PERSON IS TO ME
THE BROKEN PROMISES THAT WERE SAID ONLY TO FIND THAT IT’S ALL JUST FALSE
RELENTLESS CARPING OF WHAT THIS PERSON HAS DONE AND I SO “HONEST” WAS BLINDED AND DID NOT SEE
ISN’T IT IRREGULAR HOW CULPABLE WE PLACE ON THE OTHER
WHEN WE SHOULD LOOK AT OURSELVES BEFORE WE PLACE THE GUILTY ON ANOTHER
RESPONSIBILITY IS A WORD THAT SEEMS TO STRIKE FEAR BUT ITS MISPLACED MEANING IS TO FAULT THE SEER
TO CHARGE SOMEONE OF WHAT YOU KNOW YOU ONLY DID HIDING BEHIND YOUR JUSTIFICATIONS HOPING TO FIND YOUR HANDS CLEAN AND YOUR DIRT TO BE RID
SUCH AMATEURISH THOUGHTS ONLY ONE CAN CREATE IN ORDER TO NOT BE ACCOUNTABLE SO AS TO MANIPULATE
THINKING IT’S YOUR DUTY TO CALL OUT ANOTHER’S MISTAKE BUT LOOK BACK AND FIND WHAT YOU DID AND SEE IF YOU WOULD RETAKE
OF COURSE THAT IS A BIT TOO MUCH FOR MOST TO GRASP BECAUSE IT’S A LOT FOR ONE TO POINT THE FINGER AT ONESELF TO CLASP
SO HOW MUCH VERACITY CAN YOU REALLY GET FROM SOMEONE WHO ACCUSES?
WHEN MOST PEOPLE’S POMPOSITY ONLY SHOWS THEIR CONTUSIONS OR SHOULD I SAY BRUISES!
THIS LUNACY OF REMORSE BY POINTING AT THE INNOCENT
IS A FEELING OF BLAME ON OTHERS AND NEEDS NO PRESCRIPTION OR MEDICINE
FOR THE REASON THAT IN THE INNER MOST PART WE KNOW THAT WE ARE ONLY LYING TO OUR OWN WRETCHED HEARTS!

PROPITIATION (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

WHAT MADNESS IS THIS TO GIVE IN FEAR OF LOSING BY ONES OWN INSECURITY OF ANOTHER
TO HAVE THIS AS ONES CHOOSING I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY ONE EVEN BOTHERS
I GIVE YOU THIS SO PLEASE DON’T HURT ME JUST BEWARE THAT IF YOU DO I CAN RETRACT AND BLAME THEE!
SUCH CHILDISH BEHAVIOR WHICH DEVOURS US ALL I BELIEVE THIS IS WHAT IS REFERRED TO AS INDIAN GIVING AS I RECALL
INSINCERETY OF WANTING TO HELP BUT ONLY DOING SO TO HAVE AMMUNITION TO DESTROY AND YELP!
COMMUNICATION IS STILTED WITH ANXIETY KNOWING FULL WELL YOU WANT TO CAUSE A MASSIVE CALAMITY!
I PUT YOU ON THIS TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR FINANCES YET STILL IF YOU LOOK DEEPER IT’S ALL JUST A LOT OF CHANCES
YELLING OUT HOW MUCH YOU’VE DONE FOR ME AND HOW YOU ONLY CONCENTRATED ON HELPING ME EXPAND
YET BENEATH ALL THAT SUPPOSED HELP IS BLACK AND EVIL IN ORDER TO GRAB HOLD AND DEMAND
NO SINCERETY IN WITH WHAT YOU SAY WHICH ALWAYS GETS TWISTED I SUPPOSE I CAN ASSUME THAT WHEN DEALING WITH YOU I WILL ONLY GET ARRESTED
MY HEART ACHES FOR YOU BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO HELP YOU
I ONLY WISH THAT YOU COULD SEE WHAT YOU DO AND REALIZE THE TRUE YOU
WAISTED TIME JUST TO EXPLAIN WHY IT COULD NEVER WORK OUT BETWEEN US I SHOULD OF JUST SAID GOODBYE AND LEFT ON THE NEXT BUS!
MY ONLY RESPONSIBILITY IS THAT I LOVED YOU AND NOW I’M BEING CRUCIFIED BECAUSE I WOKE UP AND WANT TO MOVE ON
OF COURSE THIS ISN’T IN YOUR BEST INTEREST SO WHAT DO YOU DO?
YOU SCREAM, ACCUSE AND YELL TO BERATE ME WITH NO REST!
STOP! SERIOUSLY WITH THIS PROPITIATION IT REALLY DOESN’T BECOME YOU OR YOUR SITUATION!

SHAME (AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY)

WHAT INDIGNITY TO ALWAYS HIDE WHO YOU TRULY ARE
DEGRADED BY LIES PRETENDING TO BE A STAR
ONLY THE EMBARRASSMENT PROLONGS AND IS FAR FROM PREJUDICE
IT ENCOMPASSES TO ALL THAT FEELS DISGRACED TO BE CHAUVINIST
NO TOLERANCE FOR ANY EXONERATION, JUST BROUGHT ABOUT AN ABSOLUTION OF HUMILIATION
BRING INTO DISREPUTE MY LACK OF CONFRONT
DISREGARDING EVERYTHING IN HOPES OF ABANDONMENT
CAN’T SEEM TO FORGIVE MYSELF SIMPLY THRASHING ABOUT
NOT REALIZING THAT THERE IS HELP AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SHOUT
SOLITARY FEELING THAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS
MORTIFIED THAT IT ALTOGETHER BECOMES A REPRIMAND
ENTIRELY LOST WITHIN ONES OWN IGNOMINY
JUST FACED WITH THE FACT OF MY PECULIAR ATROCITY
DEVOURED BY A MISPLACE OF SELF IMITATION
IDENTIFIED SOLELY THAT IT’S REALLY JUST SELF MUTILATION
BE AWARE OF THAT FALSE PRIDE
EVENTUALLY IT WILL COME BACK AND TURN THE TIDE
CONCEALING THE TRUTH OUT OF SHAME
NOT A SOUL TO FIND TO PLACE THE BLAME
FOR YOUR OWN DISHONOR WILL ALWAYS BE PLACED
IF ONE CAN’T BRAZEN OUT THAT TROUBLED LACE
DISCREDITED BY ALL OF MY PEERS MERELY TO BE LAUGHED AT AND DEFIED WITH JEERS!
CULMINATING CHALLENGES FRENZIED WITH SHAME
OH WHAT PITY I HAVE TO PLAY SUCH A STUPID GAME!
LIKE AN ADDICT ON HEROIN WHO NO LONGER CAN BE TRUSTED OR TRULY BE GENUINE.

SELF-ABASEMENT ("AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY")

HOW SWEETLY PAINFUL IT IS TO TORCHER ONESELF AND YET CRAVING FOR SOMEONE TO COME AND HELP
TO MAKE THE BODY FEEL TO THE DEGREE THAT IT’S ALIVE WHAT INSANITY IS THIS THAT MAKES ONES PAIN DRIVE
BY HITTING OR HURTING IN ORDER TO FEEL DOING THIS ONLY BECAUSE YOU WANT TO KNOW YOU’RE REAL
CUTTING YOUR WRIST SCRATCHING YOURSELF TORMENTING PAIN HIDING THE BRUISES AND CONCEALING THE STAIN
THE MUSKY SMELL OF SKIN BURNING AS THE CIGARETTE BUTT CONTINUES ON FUMING
AT FIRST NO FEELING UNTIL IT GETS IN DEEPER THEN THE FALSE SENSE OF IT HURTING EVER SO SWEETER
TO GET SO LOW OF SUCCUMBING WITH AN IDEA THAT ONE FEELS THEREFORE IS SURVIVING
NOT KNOWING THAT THE PAIN WILL ONLY GET WORSE BUT WILL EVENTUALLY GET TO THE POINT OF BEING DRIVEN IN A HURSE
THOUGHTS OF UNIQUE BEHAVIORS ONLY TO FEEL SOMETHING LIKE A CHILD BORED WITH EVERYTHING WHICH HE CALLS NOTHING
WHIPPING YOUR BACK IN THE NAME OF CHRISTIANITY WITH A BLIND FAITH FOR GOD WITH NO CERTAINTY
A SULLEN LOOK OF VULNERABILITY TO CATCH A GLIMPSE OF THE HEAVENS OPENING WIDE HOPING TO GAZE UPON AN ENTITY THAT WILL CURE US OF OUR PAIN AND SORROW WITH ANTICIPATION OF A BETTER TOMORROW
ONLY TO FIND HEADLIGHTS FROM A HELICOPTER UP ABOVE SHINING DOWN ON YOU REALIZING YOU JUST DROVE OFF THE ROAD AND HIT A TREE WITH THE CONVICTION THAT DOING SO YOU MAY FINALLY COMPREHEND A STRONG FEELING OF JUST WANTING TO BE
AH! BUT ALAS ALL YOU’VE ENDED UP WITH IS TO BE IMPAIRED AND A SENSATION OF BEING SCARED
NOT TO MENTION THE AMOUNT OF DAMAGE YOU’VE CAUSED SO LET US PRAISE OUR STUPIDITY AND GIVE AN APPLAUSE
THIS USELESS THING CALLED SELF-ABASEMENT IS NOT MUCH WORTH TO PAY TRIBUTE TO BECAUSE THE ONE’S WHO DO THIS REALLY HAVE NO CLUE!

IS ANYONE THERE?

I'm writing these poems and want to share it with you but not sure if you like them since I haven't heard anyone commenting on them? So this worries me a bit since I am expressing a part of me that is very personal that I am sharing with you. I do want to thank that one person who is following my blog....so thank you sir for at least I know you are reading what I write it is greatly appreciated.

I am a bit perplexed at myself that I am expressing my thoughts on here but I guess we all need a place to vent and express so blogging seems to be the new outlet.

Anyway now I'm just ranting. I will put up more poetry soon and hope to see more people join my blog and comment on them.

HIDING (Compilation from "An Emotional Journey")

A VALENCE SO OBSCURED BURIED IN THE DEPTHS THAT IS BLURRED
CONSTANTLY WITHHOLDING ANY TRUTH OUT OF FEAR OF ABUSE
CAN’T SEEM TO LET GO FOR A SECOND TO ENJOY AND LET LOOSE
COVERING UP WHAT YOU PERCEIVE AS A DARK SECRET THAT PLAYS IN YOUR MIND
TO A POINT THAT IT BECOMES A MYSTERY AND YOU ARE HOPELESSLY BLIND
INCESSANTLY DELAYING FOR OTHERS TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER
PERSISTENT IN YOUR ACTS TO NOT LET THEM IN EVEN IF IT MEANS FOREVER
AN UNSPOKEN DREAD OF ONE AND ALL TO SPEAK OUT AGAINST YOU’RE WEAKNESSES TO CALL
SCREENING OUT AHEAD OF TIME OF WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY
SO OTHERS CAN’T HOLD YOU TO ANYTHING OR SO IT SEEMS ANYWAY
GOING UNDERGROUND OUT OF FEAR OF LETTING OTHERS IN
HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO SURVIVE LET ALONE GOING TO WIN?
CONCEALED WITH SO MUCH DISTRUST DENYING THAT YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD AND MUST
THE HIDEOUS BEHAVIOR OF ONE WHO IS IN DEFEAT
WILL NOT BE UNDERSTOOD BY THOSE WHO ARE SLIGHTLY MORE UPBEAT
SECRETED FEELINGS OF DESIRE TO BE UNDERSTOOD AND DUPLICATED
LACK OF KNOWLEDGE TO ACHIEVE THIS WISH; IN ITS PLACE TO BE SUFFOCATED
ONLY TO YEARN FOR THE SELF TO COMPLETELY VANISH
HAVING TO STILL DEAL WITH LIFE IN A LACK OF ASTONISH
THIS MENTAL ILLNESS OF WANTING TO GO IN HIDING
WILL ONLY CONCLUDE IN A SAD CASE THAT’S DYING
DEDUCING THIS ATROCIOUS SENSATION SUMS UP TO BASICALLY NO MOTIVATION!

DEATH (POEM "AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY")

NO BREATH NO IDEA NO SENSE AT ALL A FEELING OF NOTHINGNESS IS ALL I RECALL
NO TIME NO SPACE NO FEELING OF MASS JUST LIKE A POUNDED MEAT LAYING THERE BEING HARASSED
DOES NOT MOVE DOES NOT SPEAK NO MOTION TO OBSERVE ONLY THE STILLNESS IS THEREFORE RESERVED
WHY IS THERE NO LIFE IN THIS BODY WITHOUT YOU, HAVE YOU MOVED ON AND JUST OUT GREW?
NOT A TINGLING SENSATION NOT ABLE TO SEE THE ELAN VITAL VANISHED NOW THERE IS NOTHING OF ME
WHAT MADNESS IS THIS LIFELESS PRAISE FOR OTHERS TO NOT NOTICE AND JUST GLANCE IN A HAZE
TOO MUCH EMPTINESS REFUSAL OF SELF REBUFFED BY SOCIETY STACKED UP ON A SHELF
NO NAME NO DESCRIPTION NOT EVEN A TAG REFUSAL OF DECORATIONS BARELY COVERED BY A BAG
SOMETHING SO DISARMING ABOUT THIS LIFELESS BODY YET DISAPPOINTING TO KNOW IT HAS NO MEANING OR CARE FROM ANYBODY
OTHERS MOVE ON, THE RAT RACE PERSUES THIS BODY IS UNIMPORTANT IT DECAYS AND GETS REUSED
THE BABBLING NOISES CONTINUES TO TITTER OFF INTO THE DISTANCE AND ALL DISAPPEARS SO QUICKLY IN ONE INSTANCE
OH! THIS CRAZY WORD CALLED DEATH
IT’S AS ADDICTIVE AS A DRUG ADDICT ON METH!

USELESS (A POEM FROM MY COMPILATION "AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY")

HAVE YOU EVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT HOW INEFFECTIVE YOU WERE?
I HAVE, SINCE YOU’VE LEFT ME I CAN’T HELP BUT TRY AND COMPARE TO HER
YOU ALWAYS SAID MY INCOMPETENCE INCONVENIENCED WHO YOU ARE
TROUBLE IS I NEVER FELT SO INADEQUATE UNTIL YOU CAME ALONG AND SAT NEXT TO ME AT THE BAR
SO WHY DID YOU BOTHER TO CREATE THIS RELATIONSHIP ONLY TO HAVE IT FOILED
IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS A WASTE OF TIME WITH TOO MUCH BAGGAGE AND WAS APPARENTLY SPOILED?
MY WORTHLESS SELF THAT I WHOLE HEARTEDLY GAVE TO THEE
MEANT NOTHING IN YOUR EYES THAT YOU COULD JUST SWAT ME LIKE A FLEA
IT’S FUTILE TO EVEN TRY TO GET YOU TO UNDERSTAND
WHEN WHAT I GET BACK IS A SLASHING REPRIMAND
WARNING! HERE COMES THE PATHETIC LITTLE ME
DESIRING ONLY FOR YOUR ATTENTION OF MY QUALITIES TO SEE
I AM OF NO USE TO YOU ANYMORE AS YOU HAVE SOLEMNLY STATED
SEEMS EVEN TOO FUTILE TO HAVE AN ADEQUATE REBUTTAL DEBATED
YES YOU SEE ME AS A PIECE OF RUBBISH AND TREAT ME AS SUCH
TOO INEPT TO FIGHT BACK BECAUSE I MUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH
OKAY SO I KNOW I’M HOPELESS AND INEFFECTIVE
BUT REALIZE THAT I WAS ONCE HELPFUL TO YOU AS SUCH SUBJECTIVE
MY BEING IS EMPTY WITH NO MORE DESIRE
JUST BARELY LIVING MERELY CRAVING TO LET GO AND RETIRE
INTENDING TO MAKE A PEACE OFFERING REALIZING THAT IT’S USELESS
HOW CAN I WITH ALL I RECOGNIZE OF YOU IS PLENTY OF ABUSES!
WASTED TIME OF USELESS CONVERSATIONS SHOULD HAVE TRUSTED MY OWN INSTINCTS AND OBSERVATIONS

WORSHIPPING BODIES (A POEM FROM MY COMPILATION "AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY")

DEVOTING ONE’S LIFE TO DEIFY BODIES AN ADORATION FROM OTHERS TO REVERE YOU IS ONLY AN IMAGINATION OF THEIR RESPECT
DESIRING TO MAKE CONTACT WITH THE CORPSE IS AN ABOMINATION OF ONES OWN SELF NEGLECT
TO SEE ONLY A CADAVER WITH NO SOUL WHILST COVETING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE IN THAT SENSE
WILL ONLY BRING SUCH DEMISE TO ONESELF AND DISMANTLE THE SPIRIT TO BECOME MUCH MORE DENSE
SUCH MADNESS OCCURS IN A SOCIETY THAT PROMOTES ONLY THE SEX TO NOT BECOME CONSCIOUS OF OUR OWN SELF PERPLEX
CRAVING TO TOUCH ANOTHERS SKIN AND YEARN FOR A BODY TO GO DEEPER IN
WILL ONLY FANCY SUCH DESIRE NEVERTHELESS WIND UP TO AN AROUSING EMPTINESS WHOLLY REQUIRED
FOOLISH ADULATION THAT PEOPLE HAVE ON ONE ANOTHER
TO GO TO THE EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF KILLING ONE’S OWN BROTHER
IN THE NAME OF “LOVE” WITH NO REAL EXPLANATION
DOES ANYONE REALLY KNOW WHAT THIS WORD REALLY MEANS OR ITS PROPER DEFINITION?
CONSISTENT OBSESSION IS MISTAKEN FOR THE WORD, BUT WHEN YOU ARE SO LOST IN DESIRE IS IT NOT A SURPRISE THAT THE MEANING IS BLURRED?
SOME WOULD DISAGREE THAT TO WORSHIP A BODY IS MANS EVERLASTING VENERATION
ISN’T IT FUNNY HOW WE EXPLAIN AWAY OUR OWN CHAOTIC DEVIATION
ALAS A MAJORITY OF US ARE MYSTIFIED
IN THIS FEELING NOT RECOGNIZING THAT EACH DAY
WE ARE PULLED APART AND COMPLETELY WITH NO HOLDS BARRED GET KEYED-IN!

VICTIM (A POEM)

DUPING SOMEONE INTO MAKING THEM FEEL GUILTY I ONLY HAVE TO PLAY THE WOUNDED
RAISING MY EMOTIONS TO ATTRACT PITY THEN TURNING IT AROUND AS IF I’M OFFENDED
UPSETTING OTHERS TO FEEL SYMPATHY FOR ME, EMPOWERS MY SWEET INSANITY OF MY OWN CREATED FATALITY
UNKNOWING TARGET WHO HAPPENS TO BE IN MY VICINITY
BECOMES MY VICTORIOUS CASUALTY OF HIS OWN STUPIDITY
CAN’T HELP MYSELF ENJOYING PLAYING THE MARTYR
SO AS TO CAUSE A SYMPATHETIC REACTION TO BARTER
THE OBJECT OF THIS GAME IS OF COURSE GET OTHERS TO FEEL MY PAIN
IF THEY ALL SUFFERED WITH ME THEN I WOULD HAVE PLENTY TO GAIN
FALSE IDEA OF A SUFFERER APPREHENDED
FOR A CAUSE WITH NO RECOGNITION OF WHAT ONE SUCCUMBS TO EVEN TO JUST THINK AND PAUSE
REACHING OUT TO OTHERS AND PREYING ON THEIR OWN IDIOCY KNOWING FULL WELL THAT THEY ARE WILLING VICTIMS WITH NO SENSE OF SCRUTINY
SACRIFICING SO MUCH OR SO IS PERCEIVED
AND ALL THAT IS ENDED UP WITH IS EMOTIONAL GARBAGE RECEIVED!
FORFETING OTHERS RIGHTS TO THEIR OWN FEELINGS
I JUST LET OUT AN AGONIZING SCREAM LIKE I’M BLEEDING
THEN THEY SURRENDER TO MY VICTIM LIKE DEMISE
AND THIS FILLS TEMPORARILY, A SENSE OF SECURITY THAT FOR NOW SHALL SUFFICE
RUINING MYSELF AND OTHERS THAT ARE FOOLISHLY COMPASSIONATE
TO A LESS OPULENT FEELING OF A VICTIM THAT’S AN IMMORAL DEGENERATE!

ITS-a

So many things has happened in my life
A lot of good and some not so great!
The wisdom that I have gained in my strife
The one important message I’ve learned is that it is never too late!

It’s never too late to learn
It’s never too late to start
It’s never too late to know
It’s never too late to love
It’s never too late to stop
Just let those habits drop
It’s never too late to open your heart
It’s never too late to grow
It’s never too late to let go of all your concerns
And always be above it all with love!!!

Life is an aesthetic poetry in motion always ebbing and flowing like the ocean
Above it all is your power of choice, don’t forget it and always rejoice!
The time is now for us to stand together to fulfill the dream of sanity on this planet forever.

But don’t be fooled to think that you don’t matter
Because you are that one step towards a higher ladder
To reach the pinnacle of pure perfection
With no enemies and no rejection!

Yes this is a dream a dream of pure intention
Which it would be a crime if I was too scared to mention!

It always starts with a dream which comes to reality
So to me it seems an inevitable actuality!!!!!

CONFUSION (A POEM)

Laughter is a hidden device of what truly is occurring deep within
Secreting all inadequacies from my own view as well as from others
Every waking moment having to make sure I breathe in
Praying that I won’t be rejected by my sisters and brothers.
Confusion is an overwhelming amount of randomness
Tears’ swelling up until it overflows so suddenly
Holding onto a memory of days with no worries or stress
Awakened only to a life of lost and calamity
My gullet feeling scratchy and loosing my speech
Strenuous existence to keep it all together
Desire to tear out the virus within that I cannot reach
Only coping and hoping that somehow it will get better!
Foolish enough to believe that the veracity of my being
Will bring it all together to an understanding of what I’m truly made of
Only to find a lack of conviction on my part to be deemed necessary
Lost in translation of a life without seeming to find someone to love.
Self proclamation of insanity only to find out it is hereditary
Feeling like I’m bouncing about being pushed and shoved
The end really is never ending just continuous new beginnings!!!
This madness of repeated cycles that I’m supposed to be trapped in
Definitely succeeded in getting me all worked up into a state of maddening!!!

Ode To Religious Men (A Poem)

YOUR ADJUDICATION OF HOW I SHOULD LIVE MY LIFE IS AS PROFANE

AS YOU STANDING THERE BEHIND A LECTURN PROFESSING GODS WILL

A SUBJUGATION TO STOP OTHERS FROM FINDING OUT FOR THEMSELVES IS AS INSANE AS YOUR OWN EMINENCE WITH THIS REVERENCE EVER SO STILL

HOW DARE YOU TELL ME THAT I AM NOT COMPLYING WITH HIS HOLINESS

WHEN ALL I SEE FROM YOU IS A MAN OF THE CLOTH FILLED WITH EMPTINESS!

WHO ARE YOU TO AUTHORITATE HOW I SHOULD LIVE MY LIFE

WHEN YOU SHOULD REALLY EVALUATE WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT IS YOUR STRIFE?

CONDEMNING THOSE WHO WOULD HAVE ANY VALID QUESTIONS

EXPECTING THEM TO FOLLOW YOUR OWN DIVINE SUGGESTIONS

YET WHO TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR EXISTENCE WHEN IT’S OBVIOUS THAT YOU CAN’T EVEN CONTROL YOUR OWN LIFE AND STOP YOUR MAD PERSISTENCE

YOUR ANIMATED PERFORMANCE ON THAT PODIUM I MUST CONFESS

SHOWS MUCH MORE TRUTH THAT THE YEARS HAS BEEN UNDER A GREAT DEAL OF DURESS

YOU CAN’T HIDE WHAT AWFUL THINGS YOU HAVE DONE

FOR AS THEY SAY TRUTH WILL PREVAIL AND GOD HAS WON!

HIDING BEHIND YOUR MEANINGLESS PRAYERS THEN TURNING AROUND TO THOSE YOU QUESTION AND PUNISHING THE NAY SAYORS!

WHAT OF YOUR RETRIBUTION OF ALL THE LIVES YOU’VE RUINED?

WHEN IS YOUR EXECUTION FOR YOUR SINS OF YOUR GROIN?

AH! YES I KNOW THE LEGITIMACY TO THIS QUESTION

HOW DARE YOU CONCEAL THIS FROM THE CONGREGATION!

OH RIGHT!  IT’S THE HIGHER POWERS WILL THAT IT SHOULD NEVER BE MENTIONED!

READING FROM YOUR SCRIPTURES WITH SUCH CONVICTION

I WONDER IF IT’S REALLY YOUR PERSONAL TRIUMPH TO FINALLY HAVE FULL ATTENTION

DECEIVING YOUR PARISHONERS WITH VILE ANNOTATIONS

FORCING PEOPLE TO BELIEVE IN YOUR ABSOLUTE INTERPRETATION

WHAT KIND OF GOD DO YOU WORSHIP TO ALLOW SUCH BEHAVIOR?

IF THIS IS THE INFINITE POWER THAT DOES SUCH THINGS

THEN I DECLINE THIS GOD WHO YOU SAY IS THE SAVIOR!

COVERING UP ANY NEGATIVE INFLUENCE FROM YOUR OWN MISTAKES

I SUSPECT YOU WOULD THEN UNDERSTAND OTHERS AND NOT BURN THEM AT THE STAKE.

SUCH PROFANITY WHEN YOU ADD MAN TO THE EQUATION OF POWER

WHO THEN CAN YOU HAVE CONFIDENCE IN WHEN THERE IS TROUBLE AT THE LAST HOUR?

A RELIGIOUS LOOK AT WHERE TO TURN WHEN EVEN THESE MEN OF GOD SEEM TO HAVE DECAYED

I GUESS YOU HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT ON YOUR OWN IN FEAR OF BEING BETRAYED.

ISN’T THIS IRONIC SINCE THAT IS WHY ONE TURNS TO GOD SO AS TO NOT FEEL ALONE

BUT DON’T YOU DARE QUESTION IT BECAUSE THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE THERE TO CAST THE FIRST STONE

THERE IS NO CONTROVERSY IN WHAT I’M TRYING TO STATE

ONLY MY OWN VERACITY AND EXPERIENCE WHEN I TOOK THE RELIGIOUS BAIT

AND WHAT OF THIS HIERARCHY IN ALL RELIGION

IT APPEARS TO ME TO BE SUCH A HUGE MACHINE

WITH ALL THESE MOVING PARTS AND THE LADDER IS THE ENGINE

IN CONCLUSION I AM NOT STATING THAT ALL MEN OF THE CLOTH ARE NEFARIOUS

JUST BRINGING TO LIGHT THAT ALL MEN AT SOME POINT IN SOME TIME HAVE BEEN INIQUITOUS

THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT I HAVE BECOME AN ATHEIST

ON THE CONTRARY I FOUND TRUTH IN GOD AND DEVELOPED AN UNDERSTANDING OF MORE INFINITENESS!